Disintegration: A Fanfic of the Harry Potter kind
by AgentKaz
Summary: Defective Gary-Stu Lucian Ashton Adrian Tobias Windowshade Savidge finds himself in a world where almost everyone has become a goth stereotype. Now he must save everyone from the evil presence that created him before everything is destroyed. "R&R" please!
1. Watching Me Fall

HI EVERYBODY!

Everybody: HI AGENTKAZ!

This is a Harry Potter fanfic! It's set in the book! Isn't that great? So I can do with it what I want by slapping AU on it! This features some parodies (it's all part of being an arteest!) and it is not that serious.

Luke is a goth Gary-Stu gone wrong. As if he failed his Gary-Stu exams. He's rather nerdy, but not a genius. He is also conscious of various happenings, like the fact that he is stuck in a terrible stereotypical pseudo-gothworld and must fix it. So he's basically a good guy. You shouldn't hate him. Even if he has six names. He didn't want them!

1

Lucian Ashton Adrian Tobias Windowshade Savidge did not like any of his names.

But that was not of importance right now.

Nor was it of any importance that he had shoulder-length black-and-green streaked hair. Or that he was wearing clothes that wizards were not usually seen wearing: a black trenchcoat, a Phenomenauts T-shirt, old ripped black jeans, and tall black boots covered in straps and buckles. It didn't even matter that he was American.

Of course, what could be considered important was the fact that although he was a pureblood wizard, he was a blood traitor who spent most of his time reading Muggle books, listening to Muggle music, and using the Muggle internet. Despite this major detail, due to his combination of cowardice, average intelligence, and laziness, he was stuck in Slytherin by default.

This infuriated most of the Slytherins.

In fact, it became a sort of game for the new Slytherins, an initiation perhaps, to try and catch Lucian and drag him back to the big Slytherins for a little "fun".

This year was no exception. It was all orchestrated by Draco Malfoy and his cronies, of course.

"Why does this always happen to me?" Lucian groaned, exasperated, taking refuge in the only empty car there was in the Hogwarts Express at the moment. He was sixteen years old; he was going into his sixth year, and he thought this madness should have ended by now.

Well, it didn't.

The compartment door opened, and Lucian's head snapped toward the door, his pale green eyes staring daggers at whoever was intruding. Not that it would help. He whipped out his wand and pointed it toward the intruder.

Thickly-rimmed glasses before bloodred eyes stared out from a pale white face marred only by a lightning-bolt-shaped scar, framed by messy locks of ebony hair. The traditional wizard robes were artfully torn and worn over a black My Chemical Romance shirt and leather pants; his boots had even more metal attached than Lucian's did.

"Dude... Harry Potter? Is that you?" Lucian stammered, lowering his wand as he ogled the gloomily dressed incarnation of the Boy Who Lived... he certainly wasn't like this last year!

"'Course it is," black-painted lips set in a miserable frown mumbled.

"Holy crap, is it Halloween already?" Lucian rubbed his eyes and then blinked several times, hoping that the ghastly sight before him would depart. But alas, it was all too real. "What happened to you, man?"

"Nothing," the oddly-dressed Harry sighed. "Absolutely nothing. My life has always been a pit of deep despair, since childhood, when so tragically passed away those who loved me dear..." With that he raised up his hands, the tatters of his robes sliding up his arms to reveal line after line crisscrosses of scars.

"Dude! One scar was enough!" Lucian's pale eyes widened as he tried to take in this new Potter. His mind could not handle it. Meltdown. He screamed as hard as he could.

And then time stopped.

A gaseous figure floated toward the confused Lucian as the Hogwarts Express suddenly dissolved away, leaving him stranded floating in pitch-black.

"Lucian Ashton Adrian Tobias Windowshade Savidge!" bellowed the featureless ghostly humanoid figure.

"Actually, it's just Luke Savidge. I dropped all that crap," Luke explained.

"Lucian Ashton Adrian Tobias Windowshade Savidge!" the figure cried again.

"Dude, I just explained-"

"Lucian Ashton Adrian Tobias Windowshade Savidge! You were brought into this world to create pain, woe, and misery for those around you!" the spirit shouted.

"Oh, really. Great." Luke rolled his eyes. "What fun."

"BUT! You seem to have rebelled against that which you were created for, and somehow misery and woe have been brought in another way!"

"So whad'ya want me to do about it?"

The figure made a series of undistinguishable gestures. "Lucian Ashton Adrian Tobias Windowshade Savidge! You must find the evil source of this curse and destroy it, or you will live in this world forever!" The word "forever" repeated as the figure faded and the Hogwarts Express came back into view.

Luke closed his eyes.

"Aw crap."

It was one of those days. 


	2. The Same Deep Water As You

2- The Same Deep Water As You

An awkward silence filled the compartment. Luke sat at the table, staring at his three sudden companions.

Harry had never left the compartment, and was sitting across from Luke painting his fingernails black. He looked up and locked eyes with Luke. "What?" he snarled.

"Nothing!" Luke said, looking over at Ron who was next to him. His red hair was no longer red, but the shade of black that one can usually only achieve from hair dye. Like Harry, he had on red contact lenses and wore pale make-up on his face. X's drawn in eyeliner went across his eyes. He was dressed in a similar manner as Harry, although with a Good Charlotte T-shirt.

Next to Luke sat Hermione, her bushy mane somehow tamed into a sleek black cascade of hair with purple streaks running through. Curls of eyeliner extended from the corners of her heavily made-up eyes. She too wore contacts, purple ones. She wore a black corset with a purple ribbon up the front, a black leather miniskirt, and black thigh-high stiletto boots.

Luke cleared his throat. "Uh... so... who wants to play... uh... Pictionary?" he asked.

"That's for preps," Ron grunted. Hermione and Harry nodded in agreement. "Preps must die," Hermione added. Another nod of agreement.

"So then..." Luke glared at Harry. "WHAT THE CRAP ARE YOU DOING IN HERE ANYWAY!?" he shouted. "I'm a Slytherin! Not that it matters, but you Gryffindor dudes are all anti-Slytherin! GAH!!"

Ron looked up at him. "They're a bunch of preps." As he spoke, Luke could see he somehow had... fangs.

"Forget you!" Luke spat, rising, climbing over Hermione, and racing out of the compartment. "I'll go find someone else... and this nightmare'll be over... yeah, yeah, that's it..." he mumbled to himself, barely realizing he could be heard. He found a different compartment and slid the door open.

"Oh, hello, Luke," Luna Lovegood said, smiling, looking exactly as she always did. Luke sighed in relief. "Luna! You're normal! I mean... you're... you're not like..." he flapped his arm futilely as he attempted to explain.

"Oh yes, I know what you mean," she said, nodding. "Everyone is acting rather differently." She looked around and leaned closer to Luke. "I think I know what it is, too!"

Luke's face lit up. "You do? Awesome! 'Cause that would totally make my job a lot easier. Tell me all you know!"

"All right," Luna said, in a whisper. "It's nargles!"

"Nargles."

"Yes!" Luna smiled sincerely. "There must have been an infestation nearby!"

"Uh... Luna?" Luke said. "Sorry to like rain on your parade and all... but it's not nargles. Some spooky ghost thing told me it was an 'evil power'."

"Oh. Well, good luck," Luna said.

"Luna... can you help me out?" Luke said. "I have to destroy this... whatever it is, and I don't think I can do it alone. You seem to be unaffected too, so I guess we gotta like stick together or something.

"Of course!" Luna smiled. "And we can look for Crumple-Horned Snorkacks while we're at it!"

Suddenly, the door to the compartment opened. It was Strong Sad... I mean Harry. He walked in and kneeled before Luke, who stared at him with what could possibly be the most confused expression ever seen. I mean, this expression could like be in the confused expression digest monthly. But I digress.

"Lucian, I apologize for making you angry," Harry said. "But I was afraid to admit to you that I... love you." He looked up at Luke, a mass of emotions somehow showing in those falsely-colored eyes.

"Harry, something is incredibly wrong with you," Luke said. "Go back to Ron and Hermione. Now."

Harry nodded. "Anything for you, my love!" he said, somehow sounding happy and depressed at the exact same time. Luke noticed Harry's arm was bleeding. The cuts spelled out "LUCIAN". It was too much. As Harry left, Luke shuddered.

"They did this to punish me. They did." Luke groaned, massaging his head.

"Oh look, we seem to have stopped," Luna said. "We must be at Hogwarts now. I'll see you later, Luke!" she said, smiling again, and leaving. Luke followed her off the train. He boarded a lonely thestral-pulled carriage (He knew there were thestrals, he just couldn't see them) and waited to be carted off to the castle.

"Remember, Lucian Ashton Adrian Tobias Windowshade Savidge!" a disembodied voice called into his ear. "Only you can defeat the evil that has ruined the story and return it to as it was meant to be! And only you can prevent forest fires!"

"Great," Luke sighed, "I'm employed by a ghostly bear." He closed his eyes and hoped they'd be there soon. 


	3. The Snakepit

3-The Snakepit

Luke dropped his luggage onto the black-canopied bed, then sat down. He stared at the walls, which for some reason were covered in black paint and My Chemical Romance, HIM, Good Charlotte, and Fall Out Boy posters. The carpet was blood-red.

Luke groaned. "It's all so cheesy!" he complained. Of course, he was also the type of guy one might call a "goth", if they were too stupid to realize he wasn't. Heck, he even liked the so-called "poser goth" bands that everyone suddenly liked! He wore a lot of black too, but he certainly did not fit the stereotypes.

And he was very upset by all of this. It was as if he was stuck in some wacko cliquish high schooler's invention.

Oh yeah, I forgot, he thought. It probably was.

He rubbed his temples. "Ugh, I am getting SUCH a headache," he moaned. "AND I don't even know the first thing about how to go about stopping all this!"

"Talking to yourself, poser boy?" Luke looked up to see Draco Malfoy, or at least the pseudogoth version of Malfoy. He had black-dyed hair with red bits in it, and wore a black My Chemical Romance hoodie, ripped black jeans, and black-and-red Converse All-Stars.

"Oh gods, not you," Luke groaned. "Please dude. Just go away. Turn around and walk away. I don't need this right now.

Malfoy flipped the bird at Luke. "You're such a poser. A Muggle-loving poser. Get out of here, you stupid prep.

"Thought you'd never ask. But hey, MCR? Who's the Muggle-lover here?" Luke quipped, returning the gesture. "They're Muggles, bub." He turned and left, racing down the stairs into the Slytherin common room, which was decorated about the same as the room he had just left.

Gloomily-clad students moped around doing nothing. Someone had conjured up some fancy wizard radio that was blaring My Chemical Romance's "Helena". Normally Luke would have enjoyed hearing the song, but today was different. Today was SO different.

Luckily everyone was ignoring Luke, which was a little surprising because at the feast he was the only person shoveling food into his mouth. Everyone else was only picking at theirs. Although, truth be told, he wasn't as hungry as he seemed; the appearance of the professors had freaked him out so much he tried to eat and forget it. Didn't work.

The Sorting was especially disturbing. The Hat even had been ruined; instead of singing one of its songs it had started singing a Fall Out Boy song. And when all the kids moped up to the Hat to get Sorted, it made a big scene of sighing out their House.

Luke had left his trench coat up on his bed, exposing his pale arms covered in black and silver bracelets, an X tattooed on his left hand. Oh yeah, he was hardcore.

"Hello," a girl he had never noticed before said. Her straight black hair was tied into two spikey pigtails. "You must be Luke. They tell me you're a poser," she whispered, black-colored lips parted in a depressed (?) smile. "I think you're much too cute to be a poser."

"Uh... uh... what? Thanks? Hey... what?" Luke sputtered. "Wait... huh?"

"My name's Raven," the girl whispered. "Come see me sometime. You're hot... Like, Gerard Way hot, or maybe even hotter."

"Uh... yeah... well... sure..." Luke stammered. "Oh... hey, you get away! I don't like any of you!" He tried to leave, but the girl grabbed his arm. She quickly kissed him and whispered in his ear, "Watch yourself, poser boy." Then she stalked away.

Luke stood there and blinked. "Curiouser and curiouser," he said, quoting one of his favorite books. He left the common room, making sure to get the password in case he wanted to return. It was "The Black Parade". Of course. Luke could have guessed that no problem.

He suddenly realized that the girl had seemed incredibly suspicious. She seemed too old to be a first year, but Luke could not remember ever seeing her before. There was something fishy about her. He mentally wrote her down on a "To Investigate" list in his head.

Maybe the ghostly bear was right. He was the only one who could handle defeating the evil presence. Whatever it was. 


End file.
